her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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