Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's Friday. Sex?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
