Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
