i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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