OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's official drugs can't kill me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
