I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
