I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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