idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
