i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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