At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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