You just made me feel so damn special
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
