I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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