It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This house was built for laser tag.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
