You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
