so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
