Christians are straight up FREAKS
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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