you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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