Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
