im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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