did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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