I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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