this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
