I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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