Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
