Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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