I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
