He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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