So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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