tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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