At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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