He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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