Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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