Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
