The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
