My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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