This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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