I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
