Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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