I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
