And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
