Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
