Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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