shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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