Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
