Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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