I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
