kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?