i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..