I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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