You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?