He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'