omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting