all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
