so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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