like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
