Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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