she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
