dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize