one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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