The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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