she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
