So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
